With my aforementioned game about being a rock star actually being something I’ve written a shit-ton of code for, I am now dealing with the entire “sex with groupies” bit.
This will not be an “explicit” thing. What is going to happen is you’re going to click the “have sex with groupies” button, and then it comes back with something like this:
You succeed! There were $RANDOM people in your orgy (this may include other band members, and the text is generated based on character gender and sexual orientation).
Then we put up a list:
Implements Used:
- 1 Can of Chocolate Sauce
- 1 Traffic Pylon
- 7 Marshmallows
So, what I need is a list of crazy, random “sexual” implements. The *less* that they are designed for actual sexual activity, the better. Here is a current set of ideas:
Can of Tomato Paste
Length of Rope
Pencil
Motorcycle Chain
Set of Tattooing Needles
Cigar
Traffic Pylon
Can of Chocolate Sauce
Can of Whipped Cream
Jar of Honey
Bottle of Hot Sauce
Jalapeno Pepper
Rubber Gasmask
Rotary Telephone
Pair of Salad Tongs
Potted Plant
Marshmallow
Lava Lamp
Pair of Fuzzy Dice
Pack of 40 Watt Light Bulbs
South American Tree Frog
i vote that you integrate the list from “gary and melissa” by king missile. which, now that i check it, only actually has three non-sexual implements, but you should use them anyhow:
Bowling balls
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Done, Done, and Done.
Irish miniature cow.
Vorpal sword.
Souffle.
A lovely rainbow, covered in mist.
A W-2 form from the IRS.
7 angry Russians, wearing tracksuits.
A lingering sense of ennui.
Lithuania.
A Quiet Riot album, which skips.
Pi.
An albatross.
A loaf of crusty french bread.
A cuttlefish.
The Great God Cthhulhu.
A tube of Preparation H.
A slightly worn GI Joe action figure.
A ukelele.
A day-old slice of Hawaiian pizza, extra ham.
A Albanian folksinger in native dress.
A Mikoyan MiG-35.
(i find that hitting “random article” in wikipedia is endlessly helpful here.)
These are all excellent.
also, have you played the Hitchhiker’s text adventure game recently? that’s about the tone i’m guessing you want in terms of objects.
reflective belt
glowstick
length of IV tubing
set of allen wrenches
nunchucks
pair of nunchaku
tin of altoids
cardboard paper towel roll
silicone wonderbra insert
iodine
pair of boxing gloves
talking fish
schoolgirl kilt, 26W
schoolgirl kilt, 36W
pair of platform stilettoes, size 6
pair of platform stilettoes, size 13
ipod
liquid latex
pimiento infused olive oil
5/8″ ratchet
benzocaine
zippo lighter, empty
zippo lighter, full
coax crimper
fake ID, laminated
moleskine
iMac
plate of fine sushi
playstation 2 controller with vibrating pack
sock puppet
disco ball
ratchet strap
yoga ball
snapping turtle
bottle of mad dog, 40oz, empty
bottle of mad dog, 40oz, full
nerf gun
paintball gun
tickle me elmo
mouthwash
electric toothbrush
9 volt battery
plastic mirror, folding, 3′ x 4′
George W Bush Hallowe’en mask
Saddam Hussein Hallowe’en mask
whoopee cushion
casino chips
tamagotchi
snowboard
tennis racket
riding crop
koosh ball
feather boa
order of chicken vindaloo
order of grits, plain
rasher of bacon
copy of War & Peace, hardcover
stepstool
sheet of Hello, My Name Is stickers
This may be most hilarious thing ever.
Sadly (or horrifyingly,) most of these came from just looking around my room. It is possible that I have been here too long, hrm. HRM.
Coincidentally, just before your post in my flist, someone posted in their journal the following remark:
http://thomaskattus.livejournal.com/297285.html?style=mine
http://www.sinulator.com/
The classics of Actual Rock History include a mud shark and a Mars Bar.
Already got the Mudshark. And a red snapper.
oooh!
Somebody dressed as Bob Hope. (this is a goldmine.)
Diapers
Potted Plant
Your Grandma’s prosthetic leg